Archive for the ‘Religion’ Category

Living in a Convent

Thursday, July 21st, 2011

So you all know that I’d been living in a convent in India. Some of you have even commented on the fact that I’ve been rather quiet about the whole thing so far.

So, here’s my report.

First, some background to help you understand where I’m coming from. I was brought up a Catholic. I was in fact forced to go to church every Sunday till I was 21. While I was a young teenager, this was not an imposition, in fact, I went through a phase of wanting to be a nun. But in later years I did skip as many Sundays as I could. Particularly towards the end when the only time I ever felt violent was when I was inside a church. I still cringe any time I go into a church. And other religious buildings are almost as bad. This is not the place for me to talk about my experience at the Vatican. Suffice it to say it was entirely unpleasant and it took several weeks for me to recover from it.

I am not a fan of the Catholic church. At all. By any means. I think many of the people associated with it are lovely, but very, very many use the religion to justify doing some very unchristian things to their fellow human beings. I hate the wealth of an organisation that teaches charity. I hate the prejudice and discrimination (homophobia, misogynism) of an organisation that teaches tolerance. I hate the dogma. I hate the inflexibility. I hate the bloodshed that the church has instigated and condoned. I hate its stance on contraception that is partially responsible for the dual problems of over-population and the spread of HIV/AIDS. I hate the repression of women. I hate the fact that it does not allow divorce/remarriage even in cases of domestic violence. I hate the fact that it teaches that sex is a dirty, evil thing. I hate that it teaches that the duty of every good christian is to get married and produce more christians. I hate the fact that it teaches people to blame/thank someone/something else and therefore avoid personal responsibility for their own situation.

Oh dear. This has turned into a full-on rant, hasn’t it. Sorry. Anyway, back to the point.

While I was in India working with Elaine, we stayed in a convent. We were teaching in the church-run school (funded by the government but managed by the church). I stayed for three weeks.

We lived with 6 nuns. The nuns themselves were lovely. Nice people. Chatty, friendly, caring, funny. Very pleasant. Slightly quirky. But what group of 6 different people doesn’t have some quirks? All in all, they were really lovely people. And they looked after us very well.

This is not to say that I found the experience to be wholly pleasant. I didn’t.

I didn’t appreciate the fact that they let the dogs out just after dinner so we had to be back and in our rooms by about 8. If we had told them we’d be a bit late that would be ok, but the general principle meant that we couldn’t stay out in the evening unless we were sleeping somewhere else. But those were the rules so that’s what we had to do. And this isn’t specific to the convent. I’ve stayed with other families who have tried to impose curfews on me.

I didn’t like the fact that before and after every meal we all stood while the most senior nun said a prayer (I especially didn’t like it since one of the prayers had a grammatical error in it – well, I think it did, they didn’t really pray as if they meant it, it was mumbled all as one single word (as most prayers tend to be) so it was a little difficult to decipher).

I didn’t like the fact that one night when we were going to dinner (dinner was 7:45, we went at about 7:50), three of the nuns were sitting on the porch in the middle of a rosary. They kindly (?) motioned for us to sit with them while they finished. It has been a very long time since I was last in a rosary. And for very good reason. I have such a strong visceral reaction to them that my stomach ties itself in knots, my fists clench, my teeth clench, I get very, very angry. I hate them. Fortunately (?), we only had to sit through 2 sorrowful mysteries and all the prayers at the end. The next night, we stuck our head out the door to listen for praying. They were in the middle of their rosary, so we went back to our room to wait there for a few minutes before going to dinner. That worked. We never stumbled into the middle of a rosary again.

I gritted my teeth through most of this. We were staying in a convent. We couldn’t expect them to put their religion on hold just because we were there. And if I really objected, I should have stayed somewhere else. And believe me, I will in future.

I learnt several lessons during these three weeks. There is no way anyone will ever convert me to Catholicism. Living in a convent will not help me to find god (which is something they suggested on the first day). I should never stay in a religious establishment ever again. I do not have enough patience and tolerance for religions. I have been too scarred by my own experiences to be able to distance myself from them enough to view them objectively.

So while I could pretend that I wasn’t in a convent (which, to be fair, was most of the time) I had a lovely time staying with Elaine. I enjoyed much of the company of the nuns (the bits that didn’t involve stories about angels, finding god, praying, etc). The food was good. The facilities were fine. And to their credit, they didn’t force their religion on us as much as they might have done.

But every time I became consciously aware of being in a convent things got more difficult. Ah well, it was a learning experience for all of us.

Posted in Friends, India, Religion | No Comments »

Incongruous

Monday, February 14th, 2011

I’ve got the bus from Ratnapura to Karawita several times. Near Dela there is a saw mill. There is a section of forest that has been slowly turning into a big pile of logs over the time that I’ve been doing the trip. Largely, this makes me somewhat sad.

What I find interesting (ironic, funny, ridiculous, reassuring, infuriating) is that in the middle of this destruction is a bo tree. The bo tree is venerated in Sri Lanka as the tree that Buddha was sitting under when he attained enlightenment. This particular bo tree has a small wall around it and a shrine (like most bo trees in the country).

It’s just very, very strange seeing a single tree being venerated in the middle of ever-increasing clearing.

Posted in Culture, Religion, Sri Lanka | No Comments »

Osho

Friday, December 17th, 2010

While I was in India I spent a lot of time with Stan. And we had a lot of very interesting conversations about all sorts of things. :)

And during one of these interesting conversations, I think it was when I was explaining about why I don’t want children and how I believe that two adults aren’t enough to bring up a child, Stan turned to Guru and said “I think she needs to read Osho, don’t you?”.

It was at the Osho ashram in Poona that Stan and Guru had met initially a couple of years ago.

I hadn’t heard of Osho till I met Stan. But he had a book of Osho’s (From Unconsciousness to Consciousness) which he lent me to read.

And I loved it. Osho was a really interesting thinker. He had the courage to look at the world as it actually is rather than through the conditioning we force upon ourselves. He said some really fascinating things. I’m not sure I agree with everything he says, but then again, I don’t need to. But I do agree with most of what he says. Plus, he’s really funny. :)

So Stan and Guru got me another two Osho books to read – thanks guys!!! Which are equally wonderful! Makes me look at the world in a slightly different way than before. And makes me angry and hopeful and inspired. What more can you ask for from a book? :)

Posted in India, Religion | No Comments »

Kanyakumari

Monday, December 6th, 2010

Kanyakumari is the southern tip of India. It’s where three seas meet: the Arabian Sea, the Indian Ocean and the Bay of Bengal. Having come so far and being so close to it I thought it would be a nice place to visit.

Since we had a Sunday with nothing to do, we decided to go. Or rather, I decided to go and Asok, Guru and Stan kindly decided to come too. Jo, Josy and Johny would have like to come too but unfortunately they were too busy.

Asok organised a car and we left nice and early on Sunday morning. We stopped for breakfast. Masala dhosa – really nice. :)

Back in the car and from Kerala we entered Tamil Nadu. Not much different. Instead of Malayalam, the writing was now in Tamil, but since I speak neither it didn’t make that much difference. The roads in Tamil Nadu are better than those in Kerala though.

We were heading for a palace then a temple then the town of Kanyakumari itself. Cool. We knew where we were going. The driver knew where we were going. I spent most of the trip asleep – which was annoying. One of my superhero skills seems to be the ability to sleep on any form of transport – trains, buses, boats, cars, taxis, three wheelers. Fortunately I’ve not slept on a motorbike yet – I think that would be very, very bad indeed. Unfortunately, I often want to enjoy the scenery and instead find myself fast asleep. Ah well. I think I needed the sleep. :)

Anyway I was awake when we got to a few kms from the temple and discovered that we’d missed the palace. By about 25kms. Now, I wasn’t particularly bothered by this, but it would be nice to see the palace so we decided to turn round and go back. Asok was a bit pissed off, but Stan, Guru and I didn’t really mind that much. A few minutes later the car broke down. He he he he. You have to laugh when things like this happen, otherwise you’ll get annoyed and angry and pissed off and depressed and desperate to go to home. I was none of these things. It’s all part of the adventure.

So we piled out of the car (when there was a suitable break in the lorries, vans, motorbikes, three wheelers etc bearing down upon us). We left the driver with his car and piled into a three wheeler – Kath sitting sideways on Asok’s knees and we went back to the temple.

This is a temple where the men (Hindu or otherwise) have to take their shirts off. Now, I’m all in favour of equality of the sexes, but this was one situation where I was glad that women had different rules to follow. Though, to be honest, I think it would have been better if neither gender had to remove clothing.

Some bits of the temple were really pretty. Some bits weren’t. I’m not Hindu so wasn’t really that interested in the religious side of it. But I did think it interesting that the only signs that were in English were the ones that tell you how to make donations and how much all the various offerings cost. The connection between religion and capitalism never fails to bring a smile to my face. :)

After we’d finished there (and avoided buying temple tat from the shops outside) we got a taxi in to town. Guru was now our official translator since we were in Tamil Nadu (his native state) and he spoke the best Tamil of the lot of us. Thanks Guru! Interestingly, he can’t read or write in Tamil. He is very well educated and very intelligent. He can speak Tamil – it is his mother tongue. He just can’t read or write. All his schooling was done in either Hindi or English (both of which he can read, write and speak). Cool.

We found a really nice air conditioned hotel that had a nice restaurant. It was rather hot outside and an iced coffee was just what the doctor ordered – and it was a really good iced coffee too!

After lunch (when will people in this part of the world learn that toast is not the same thing as slightly warmed bread? – Toast should not be floppy!) we went to docks to get the ferry over to the two islands that sit just off the coast.

Guru, Stan, Asok and the islands

Now this was odd. We waited for the boat. When the next one arrived, they let a load of us onto the dock so we could queue again to get on the boat. But this time boys had to queue separately from girls. Ok, fine. I can be a girl if I really have to. So I got into the women’s queue and the others stayed in the boys’ queue. Just before we got onto the boat we had to pick up a life jacket from a big pile sitting on the dock. The women got in the back of the boat, the men got in the front and then they all proceeded to mix up and sit next to each other anyway. So I’m not sure quite what the separation was all about. I do have some advice for anyone thinking of taking the same boat trip in future, sharpen your elbows before leaving the house in the morning, you’ll need them to get on the boat!

The first little island has a temple with a sacred footprint, it also has a meditation cave. I was more impressed with the psychedelic bunny rabbit rubbish bins.

Bunny Bin

Then a really weird thing happened. I was standing around with Guru waiting for Stan and Asok who were in the meditation cave when some random Indian guy came up to me and asked me if he could take a photo of me with his baby. Brave man! Fortunately, the small child did not break, get dropped or start screaming – which was nice. Usually people go to extraordinary lengths to stop weird strangers from touching their children, this guy actually shoved his first born into my reluctant arms. Ah well. If it made him happy then why not!

We wandered around the island/rock thing for a bit – it’s not very big. Didn’t buy anything from the book/tat shops. Did admire the windfarm which is further along the coast.

Back on the boat (no gender separation this time) to the next little island which has a giant statue. We decided to just look at it from the boat and not actually get off. So we went back to the mainland for some photos. Then back to the same hotel for an iced tea this time – it’s a hard life.

Since Guru assured us that the sunset would be crap, we decided to get the bus back home a bit early. If we had a car we probably would have stayed, but we had at least 2 hours on the bus to Trivandrum and then had to get from there back to Poonthura so we figured an early start would be a good thing.

It would have been a better thing if the bus had left when we got on it, rather than 45 minutes after we got on it. But that’s part and parcel of bus travel really. The bus was to be expected: noisy, uncomfortable, dirty, smelly, somewhat dangerous. But nothing worse than what I’m used to from Sri Lanka. And given my extraordinary superhero skills, I slept most of the way. Despite the ridiculously excessive use of the horn.

We saw bits of the sunset from the bus – which was very nice and more varied than it would have been if we’d just stayed at the coast. So that was really nice.

We got back to Trivandrum and found an Indian Coffee House to have some dinner. Then a three wheeler back to Poonthura. The family were out so we sat in the office chatting till they got back. Then sat around chatting to them for a bit too before bed. All in all a lovely day. And now I can say that I made it from Cambridge to the southern tip of India overland. Cool!!! :)

Posted in Clothing, Culture, Friends, India, Religion, Sightseeing | No Comments »

A Good Buddhist

Thursday, July 8th, 2010

Here’s a post that I should have written while I was in Sri Lanka.

4 different, completely independent people on 4 separate occasions told me that they thought I was a good Buddhist. Which surprised me. I’m not a Buddhist. It seems to me that not being a Buddhist makes it impossible for me to be either a good Buddhist or a bad Buddhist. Likewise I’m not a good Christian, a good Sikh, a good Hindu, etc.

There are some bits of Buddhism that I like. Being honest. Being nice to other people. Taking responsibility for your own actions and their consequences. Shunning material possessions and physical beauty. Taking a balanced, middle road. Following one’s own path to enlightenment (or heaven or peace or fulfillment or …).

But there are a lot of very fundamental bits of Buddhism that I don’t like. Shunning personal relationships. Right speech (well, the bit about avoiding harmless chatter). Earning merit. Worshipping one’s parents/elders etc. The priesthood. Practicing a religion.

And there is so much about Buddhism that I don’t know about and that I don’t understand. As the previous two paragraphs may make very clear.

But I think that what people meant when they said I was a good Buddhist is the same thing that people mean when they say that I’m a good Christian (which I’m not). I think they mean that they think I’m a good person. I hope they do. They see some aspects of what their religion reveres in me and so they equate those qualities with their religion. Often they don’t see the aspects of me that their religion most certainly does not revere (lack of faith for a start, other Kath failings shan’t be mentioned here, suffice it to say we’re none of us perfect). So they look at me and see someone caring and kind and think ‘a good Buddhist’. I look at them and see someone warm and loving and think ‘a good agnostic’. (Actually I don’t, I think ‘a good person’, but you see the point.)

I also thought it was interesting that some said to me that despite me not being a Buddhist, I was a better Buddhist than many Buddhists they know (including a monk or two). Which just goes to show that subscribing to a religion doesn’t mean you automatically represent all that is good in that religion and that not having a religion doesn’t make you an inherently bad person.

I think faith and religion are probably about as causally related to ‘goodness’ as eye colour is (i.e. not at all).

Posted in Religion, Sri Lanka | No Comments »